Photo by Auntie P | Flickr
Often times I say the wrong thing. Just the other day my wife J came into the kitchen telling me that she thought she felt a slight earthquake. Instead of taking her concern seriously, as she hoped, I made a joke about flatulence. The wrong time – the wrong words. This is just one of many examples that I see in my own private world that my speech is not holy.
Matthew puts it this way, “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Mt 12:36–37
So not only did I cause my lovely wife to tear up at my insensitive words, but I’m going to have quite the time giving an account of those and the many other flat out stupid things I say before my Holy Lord.
The Problem: Unedifying Speech
Its a problem because every word spoken is an opportunity taken or lost to build someone up in love – Christian or not – but most of our words are wasted on useless generally unprofitable discourse.
The Oxford dictionary calls things that are edifying those things that “provide moral or intellectual instruction or improvement”. So something that is unedifying would be that which goes against or is the opposite of good moral improvement.
Of all the ills that we face as Christians, gaining control over our mouths is probably the most difficult but it can be the most rewarding – or the most deadly, if we don’t.
The Spence-Jones Pulpit Commentary on Ephesians spells out three different types of “unedifying speech”:
1. Filthiness: this is the stuff we say that makes us ashamed of ourselves when our Momma hears it coming out of our mouths.
2. Foolish talking: this is when what we say makes us out to look just plain stupid and idiotic – like a fool
3. Jesting: these words are usually “witty” in our minds. Some smart response or whatever. It can also include scoffing and scornful talk, such as when we talk badly about someone or something.
These are pulled from Ephesians 5, whose context is that those that practice such things are not fit for the kingdom of God.
How can I make my speech profitable? To myself? To those that hear me?
We know we cannot fully tame our tongues (James 3:6-8), but we can be purposeful in our parlance. Here are seven tips that can help you improve your speech:
1. Conscientiously think about what you want to say.
Summon Thumper’s Mom for a moment here and if you can’t think of anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. According to Proverbs 17:28, you can come across as wise if you hold your tongue.
2. Commit Scripture to mind.
And then use it. Dwell on it. Chew it over and really take it for a ride in your thought processes. Take a look at today’s Memory Verse if you need one to start with.
3. Choose to focus on the good.
Frown at gossip or inappropriate banter because your holiness is not worth a cheap laugh.
4. Care about what words you use.
J convicted me on this one because I use words like “your killing me”, “screw that”, and I’ve even had my boss ask me not to use the word “sucks” anymore. They’re both right. These are all just a very small step above outright cursing and both are due to the fact that I’m being too lazy to think of profitable things to say.
5. Create an atmosphere of righteous speaking.
Let others know that coarse talking is not something that you value and don’t want around you. If they’re friends worth anything, they’ll respect that. Ask the most quality of friends to keep you accountable in your speech.
6. Condition your speech through practice.
If you say something that you’re immediately embarrassed about, be embarrassed. Apologize for your misstep and give it another go, this time speaking more slowly and thoughtfully.
7. Celebrate when you do well and show yourself mercy when you make a mistake.
“Being holy” is not so much a state of being as much as it is in putting the humanly effort forward to be changed BY God to be more like His son, Jesus Christ.
Memory Verse
Did you know that one the best ways to “fix” our speech is to “fill” our vocabulary with Scripture? Here is a verse that you can commit to memory:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29 NIV
What do you think? What ways are you trying to improve your speech?